Voksne

Voksne

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Forside Forum Medlemmer Annoncer Heste
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digt... mening?? digt... mening??

Jeg har i noget tid gået og fiflet lidt med et digt..
det er på engelsk og stave og grammatik fejl er gratis...-s-
men hvis i vil læse det og give mig lidt respons på det...

det er ikke helt færdig...


how can you live your life on a lie
how can you will love me till you die
when i hear you calling her late at night
and i see you walking out on me, in the shadows off the light

you make it hard for me to stay by your side
but i was the one who said yes to be your bride
i know i should, but i won't go
'cause in my heart i still love you so

i try to smile when you come home late
you say "i was just out with a mate
i forgot to call, please don't be mad"
and all i do is try to hide that i'm sad
'cause i know you were with her for a while
i can see it in the way that you smile

when i make you stay here with me
you always have somewhere els to be
and when i finally make you stay at home
all you do is stare at your phone
waiting for that call from her
and ending the call with "yes i'll be right there sir"

(her mangler så noget med hvordan han bare går, men har det næsten på papiret, mangler lige at få det sidste på plads. nå men vi fortsætter)

I bet she says "it would be easier wíthout tour wife"
well, i was the one to whom he devoted his life
he said yes to me in fron af family and God
who would know he could be that kind off a fraud
it seems i wasn't that long ago
i was the one he wouldn't let go.


igen, det er ikke færdig, ville bare så gerne have at nogen læste det... og en lille kommentar ville da være lækkert...


 
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Kommentarer på:  digt... mening??
  • #1   20. dec 2008 tour=??? hvad betyder dette
    els=else

    ellers rigtig smukt digt... Godt skrevet og grammatikken er da ok;-)


  • #2   20. dec 2008 super godt!!
    glæder mig til at se det færdigt! smiley


  • #3   20. dec 2008 tror der skal stå our i stedet for tour

  • #4   20. dec 2008 Tror der skal stå You´re wife:-)

  • #5   21. dec 2008 der skal stå your wife... det gik måske lidt stærkt... men igen stave fejl er gratis...

    jeg skal nok lige smide det færdige resultat ind.. men det tager sin tid at lave... havde egentlig kun tlnkt at det skulle være de første 8 linier, men så tog det om sig og ja...


  • #6   23. dec 2008 så blev det helt færdigt... så nu glæder jeg mig til og høre jeres mening om det!!!

    how can you live your life on a lie
    how can you will love me till you die
    when i hear you calling her late at night
    and i see you walking out on me, in the shadows off the light

    you make it hard for me to stay by your side
    but i was the one who said yes to be your bride
    i know i should, but i won't go
    'cause in my heart i still love you so

    i try to smile when you come home late
    you say "i was just out with a mate
    i forgot to call, please don't be mad"
    and all i do is try to hide that i'm sad
    'cause i know you were with her for a while
    i can see it in the way that you smile

    when i make you stay here with me
    you always have somewhere els to be
    and when i finally make you stay at home
    all you do is stare at your phone
    waiting for that call from her
    and ending the call with "yes i'll be right there sir"

    you get up so fast, and i hear the slam off the door
    and i feel like i can't take no more
    you are out so fast, wihtout even giving me a kiss
    that is just one off the litle things i miss
    like the stars in your eyes i used to se
    when we were lying in bed and you were looking at me.

    I bet she says "it would be easier wíthout your wife"
    well, i was the one to whom he devoted his life
    he said yes to me in fron af family and God
    who would know he could be that kind off a fraud
    it seems i wasn't that long ago
    i was the one he wouldn't let go

    i know now that this is the end
    there are no moer days her for me to spend
    i can't believe that this is what i'm saying
    but i can't take another evening alone, crying
    i'm going to call you and tell you what i know
    and i will try not to let my feelings show

    i pack up all my things and sit by the phone
    looking around on what used to be my home
    i'm thinking about the things we used to do
    back at the times when it was just me and you
    and i think to my self just before i make the call
    it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all...


    hvad syntes i så??

    Jeg spurgte drengene hernede hvad de syntes og fik faktisk af vide at de syntes det var godt...-s-



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